I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Holy sore nipples Batman
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Holy shit dude........stairs
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
