You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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