i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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