How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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