I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
