Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
