He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
