i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
