Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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