do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Randomize
