Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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