I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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