no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize