McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize