i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
