my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
