Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.

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(281): View more from Texas

thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority

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(217): View more from Illinois

Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak

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(214): View more from Texas

COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!

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(818): View more from California

He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.

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(224): View more from Illinois

Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...

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(716): View more from New York

i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...

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(360): View more from Washington

You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.

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