Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
