The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
