That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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