Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
