I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
