bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
