hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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