I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
