did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
