why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
