im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I checked into jail on foursquare
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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