There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize