it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
