plz talk dirty to me
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
