Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
