Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
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I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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