What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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