we have pet lesbian snakes
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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