That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
YAS. BRING CRAB.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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