I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
