Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Floor bacon is actually really good
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
