So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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