susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
