Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
