No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
