NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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