Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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