Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
