I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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