Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
