fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
