Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
