why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
It's just like the Real World with babies
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
