i was born a porn star she said
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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