who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Girls should come with a carfax report
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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