Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize