You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
