My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
