Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
