Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she looked like the before picture.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
