he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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