I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just found a bag of teeth...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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