I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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