if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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