Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
