Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize