I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
